Worry, Love, Fear, Hatred, Revenge
by ohmyrowling13
Summary: Worry. "I've got a bad feeling." Love. "I love you." Fear. "I must not fear." Hatred. "Avada Kedavra!" Revenge. "Peter Pettigrew!" Rated T just to be safe.


**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. Or the quote below. There will be bits and a full-on excerpt from Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Chapter 17, pages 343-345. :) **

_"I must not fear._

_Fear is the mind-killer._

_Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration._

_I will face my fear._

_I will permit it to pass over me and through me._

_And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path._

_Where the fear has gone there will be nothing._

_Only I will remain."_

_Frank Herbert _

* * *

Sirius glanced around nervously through the glass of the phone booth he was standing in, talking to his best mate, James Potter, on the other end.

"You're sure you guys are fine? No suspicious persons or behaviors?" Sirius asked James, his eyes following a tall man wearing a large black overcoat, who was hurriedly making his way down the gray street.

"Pads, there is nothing wrong. I promise. And what's got you so wound up?" James said, and Sirius could imagine him switching the phone to his other ear.

"I dunno, mate. I've just got this weird feeling in my gut. Like something bad is going to happen." Sirius ran a hand through his hair in a James-like way.

"Look, Sirius, I can assure you nothing strange is going on around here. Everything is perfectly normal." James said. Sirius heard Harry begin wailing in the background, and distantly heard Lily calling for James. James sighed. "Harry's refusing to go to sleep again. I'll talk to you later, mate."

"Alright. I'll see you at the meeting tomorrow, right?" Sirius asked, trying to reassure himself nothing would happen to James, Lily, or Harry tonight.

"I'll be there," James said. Sirius heard Lily yelling louder for James. "Gotta go. Bye!"

Sirius heard the click signaling the call was over, and he hung up the phone. Taking a few deep breaths to calm himself, he stepped out of the phone booth and began to walk through the wet streets back to the flat he shared with Remus.

...

James jogged up the steps into the hall, and quickly made his way into Harry's room. "Sorry Lils, would've come faster but Sirius was on the phone."

Lily turned to look at James, a screaming Harry in her arms. "What did he want? He never calls. He usually just shows up at our front door."

James took Harry out of Lily's arm, swaying side to side, trying to sooth Harry. "He's worrying about us again."

Lily sat down in a chair next to Harry's crib as Harry quieted down, smiling. "He's always worrying about us. Along with Remus, Peter, and everyone else we know."

James grinned. "I think we've given them reason enough to worry, don't you think?"

Lily rolled her eyes. "We sure have."

James stopped swaying, thinking Harry had finally fallen asleep, but Harry burst out into more screaming and crying. "I'm going to take him downstairs for a little while. Try to wear him out," James said, rubbing Harry's back.

"Alright. I'm going to change." Lily said, standing up. She kissed James, then Harry, on their cheeks. She looked up at James and smiled. "I love you."

"I love you, too." James said smiling as Lily left the room, still not understanding how Lily had come to be his wife, and mother of his child. But he didn't question it, afraid she might leave if he did.

...

Lily came downstairs after brushing her teeth and putting on more comfortable clothes to see James making puffs of colored smoke shoot from his wand for Harry's amusement. She stood in the doorway, smiling as she saw Harry try to grab the smoke in his hands, laughing.

"Alright Harry, time for bed. And please don't start screaming again," Lily said, walking into the living room and standing in front of the couch. Harry turned at his mother's voice, smiling and pointing at the smoke coming from James's wand. "I see the smoke. It's pretty, isn't it?" Lily asked Harry, smiling down at him.

James grinned as he handed Harry to Lily, standing up and stretching, his wand discarded on the couch. Lily continued to talk to Harry as she made her way upstairs. She had just made it to the top when she heard the door slam open. She turned around, ready to run downstairs, hesitating when she realised she didn't have her wand.

"Lily, take Harry and go! It's him! Go! Run! I'll hold him off!" Lily heard James yell, and she screamed as she heard a high-pitch voice yell "_Avada Kedavra!_" and a thump as a body hit the floor. She screamed again and ran into Harry's room, locking the door.

Wasting no time, still holding Harry, she began stacking unopened boxes and the chair she had sat in earlier against the door, knowing it was a futile attempt. She held Harry close to her chest, crying, knowing James was dead. Harry hadn't noticed her crying, didn't know his father was dead, he was silent, staring at the barricaded door with wide eyes.

Lily took a deep breath and wiped away her tears, determined to save Harry, even if she had to sacrifice herself. She remembered something she had read once, a quote on fear. She repeated it to herself in her head. "_I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."_

The barricaded door burst open, and Lily took in the cloaked figure of Voldemort. She couldn't see his face beneath the hood of the cloak he was wearing, but she could just make out his glowing red eyes. _I must not fear_, Lily thought to herself. She dropped Harry into his crib and turned to face Voldemort, spreading her arms out to try to shield Harry.

In the seconds Voldemort took to take in the scene, Lily thought of all those she loved...

_I love you, Sirius, my husband's best friend and brother._

_I love you, Remus, my best friend, and a brother to James._

_I love you, Dumbledore, for being a second father to me. _

_I love you, Mom and Dad, for always being there for me, I miss you._

_I love you, Tuney, no matter what you say._

_I love you, Severus, for being my best friend, and introducing me to magic._

_I love you, Harry, my son, my little James. Be safe, be strong. _

_I love you, James, the love of my life. I will see you soon. _

There were more, of course but that was all Lily could get in before Voldemort turned his attention to Harry.

Lily through her arms out wider, pleading "Not Harry, not Harry, please not Harry!"

"Stand aside, you silly girl . . . stand aside, now." Voldemort's voice sent shivers down Lily's spine, but she stood strong.

"Not Harry, please no, take me, kill me instead-"

"This is my last warning-"

"Not Harry! Please . . . have mercy . . . have mercy. . ." Lily felt tears slide from her eyes, and felt her heart swell with love for Harry. "Not Harry! Not Harry! Please - I'll do anything-"

"Stand aside, stand aside, girl!"

Lily stared Voldemort square in the eyes, refusing to move. She knew she was about to die, but she didn't care. She would see James again, and her mother and father. And she wasn't about to watch Voldemort kill her child. She would die to protect him.

Voldemort raised his wand, a green light flashed, and Lily Potter was dead before she hit the ground.

* * *

_The child had not cried all this time: He could stand, clutching the bars of his crib, and he looked up into the intruder's face with a kind of bright interest, perhaps thinking that it was his father who hid beneath the cloak, making more pretty lights, and his mother would pop any moment, laughing-_

_He pointed the wand very carefully into the boy's face: He wanted to see it happen, the destruction of this one, inexplicable danger. The child began to cry: It had seen that he was not James. He did not like it crying, he had never been able to stomach the small ones whining in the orphanage-_

_"Avada Kedavra!"_

_And then he broke: He was nothing, nothing but pain and terror, and he must hide himself, not here in the rubble of he ruined house, where the child was trapped and screaming, but far away . . . far away . . ._

* * *

Sirius ran from the ruined house in Godric's Hollow, away from the crowd of wizards and Muggles combined. Away from the memories. Away from imagining what had just happened. He knew something like this would happen, his gut feelings were never wrong, he just didn't want to believe it.

Sirius stopped only to give Hagrid his motorbike, if only to get away from the godson who looked so much like his father, but had his mother's eyes. Then he was running again.

Running to the man who had once been his friend.

Running to the man who had caused this to happen.

Running to the man who had betrayed those who had considered him family.

Running to the man who would pay for what he'd done.

"Peter Pettigrew!" Sirius bellowed once he found him. He pulled out his wand and pointed it at the man who had murdered his best friend, and the girl he loved like a sister.

Peter jumped at Sirius's voice, turning to face him, his face a mask of innocence. "Lily and James, Sirius! How could you betray them like that? They were your family!"

Sirius raised his wand, and watched as Peter discretely caused an explosion behind him, and during the distraction, morphed into a rat that scurried away. The only thing left was a finger.

Sirius lowered his wand and began laughing manically. He continued laughing as wizards surrounded him to take him to trial, or even straight to Azkaban. He didn't care. He was laughing the laugh of a man who had lost everything.

* * *

**A/N: So there you have it! Leave a review and tell me what you think. :) Reviews inspire me to write more. **

**P.s. I'm working on a new story and I hope to have it up somewhat-soon. School's started back and I'll have plenty of homework to work on, which means very little writing time. **

**R**

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**Please.**


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